Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Eliot Spitzer: A Real Piece of Sh*t

I just found this on the New York Post website, from two days ago - noted purchaser of prostitution services, Eliot Spitzer, tries to rehabilitate his sorry ass on the back of the Mark Sanford scandal:

THERE'S a huge difference between what South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford did, and what ex-New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer did. "I didn't fall in love with any of them," Spitzer was overheard ... . And Spitzer didn't use any taxpayer money on his trysts, while Sanford is reimbursing the state about $12,000 for travel expenses to Buenos Aires.


Ok, let's parse that a little bit:

"I didn't fall in love with any of them," Spitzer was overheard telling LMDC executive director Avi Schick


You didn't fall in love with any of them, huh Eliot? Ok, so those hookers were just pieces of meat, just a place for you to stick your penis to get a cheap thrill (well then again, at $3000 a night I shouldn't call it "cheap"). Yes, that really makes you so much of a better man than Mark Sanford, who fell in love with the woman with whom he had an affair.

And let's not forget that it's been reported that you - a married man - requested to have unprotected sex - with a prostitute. This is mind-bogglingly stupid, so stupid you'd think that if Mr. Spitzer had even an ounce of common sense left, he'd shut the f up about it instead of using Sanford as an opportunity to bring the issue back into the spotlight. As one of the SNL news anchors said "you were client number 9 - really!". If client number 2 had sloppy seconds, what did you have Eliot? Nasty ninths?

And Spitzer didn't use any taxpayer money on his trysts, while Sanford is reimbursing the state about $12,000 for travel expenses to Buenos Aires.


No, you squandered part of Daddy's inheritance on your dalliances with hookers. However, Eliot, you most certainly DID use taxpayer money to break up some high dollar prostitution rings during your tenure as New York state's Attorney General - and were doing so at the same time you were playing "hide the Vienna Sausage" with Kristen, which of course makes you about 10 times the hypocrite that Sanford was.

Don't get me wrong - I am in no way defending Sanford. He cheated, he got caught, and he should pay the price, including losing his wife. Not to mention, he did piss away taxpayer dollars for his dalliances, and was also derelict in his duty as governor of South Carolina by becoming unreachable. For those two things, he should resign. He's shown himself to be as fit for public office as Spitzer was, i.e. not at all.

Nevertheless, there is that saying about people in glass houses and throwing stones and all that. If you've been busted for dropping $3000 a night to have unprotected sex with hookers while your wife is sitting at home, and did so during the same time you were attorney general breaking up other high dollar prostitution rings, well then, you really should refrain from throwing stones, Mr. Spitzer. In fact, the best thing you could do about this and any future scandal involving politicians and adultery is to sit down and have a nice, hot cup of STFU.

This whole thing reminds me of one of my favorite quotes by Robert Heinlein, slightly modified by me:

A whore should be judged by the same criteria as other, professionals offering services for pay--such as dentists, lawyers, hairdressers, physicians, plumbers, etc. Is she professionally competent? Does she give good measure? Is she honest with her clients? It is possible that the percentage of honest and competent whores is higher than that of plumbers and much higher than that of lawyers. And enormously higher than that of professors politicians.

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