> Dear American Citizens,
> Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the
> economy, I, President Barack Obama have decided to implement a plan
> to put all workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement.
> This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).
> Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the
> SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).
> Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW
> program (Scheme Covering Retired-Early Workers).
> A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as I,
> President Obama deem appropriate.
> Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants
> & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
> Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any
> further by me, President Obama.
> Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT
> (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. I, President Obama have
> always prided myself on the amount of SHIT I give our citizens.
> Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to
> the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the
> SHIT you can handle.
> President Barack Hussein Obama
> Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil,
> as well as current market conditions, the light at the end of the tunnel has
> been turned off.